The Bits That Must Not Be Named

Warning: cuss words, straight ahead.

Sorry, Georgia, but "black iris" is 

too purple a euphemism for me.

Interrupting my own manuscript polishing to air a bit of word befuddlement. Since my evil conjoined twin writes erotica, I've gotten very used to having a couple of handy, if inelegant, words at my disposal when referring to the female nether regions—pussy and cunt. In romance, at least category romance, those are still a no-go. And yet the two most useful slang terms for the male goodies—cock and dick—are fine. Why the double-standard?

Is it because in romance, it's okay for the male anatomy to still be given names that sound blunt and crass, but the lady-area must be euphemized into gentle desirability, lest we offend our delicate readers' dewy orbs? Is it because male characters are allowed to be, well, blunt and crass, while heroines are still stuck toeing the propriety line? Another permutation of the Stud v. Slut gender debate?

Whenever possible, I name specific bits of the lady-situation, like lips or clit. Good words. They say exactly what they are. But for the region as a whole…? Her sex? Her center? Her entrance? Sometimes I really wish pussy were on the table. Vagina and vulva and labia are far too clinical (I rarely use penis, incidentally, for the same reason). Breast is such a lovely word…I feel our southern climes got shafted (as it were) in the taxonomy department.

Writers—what words do you use in romance, in lieu of pussy and cunt? Readers—what words work for you, and which are InstaSquick™? Would you be offended to stumble over pussy in a category romance? Does vagina get the job done, or does it bring to mind one of those female anatomy cross-section posters from the gyno's office for you, as it does for me?