Recipe: Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

Ah, fall. It's finally cool enough to bake again, and comfy sweaters allow for a few pounds to be gained in the interest of recreational cookery. Here's the recipe for chocolate chip banana bread I've been using for years—really easy to make, maybe 15 minutes of prep and less than an hour of baking. Makes two loaves, for about twenty generous slices.

Photo credit to http://applestoorangesca.wordpress.com/

1 rounded cup sugar
1 stick butter, softened
Super-ripe bananas, 4 small or 3 large
2 eggs (cage-free organic if you want to go to heaven)
½ cup whole milk (or if you're like me and never have milk in the house, mix 2:1 half-and-half plus water)
1 tsp. vanilla extract (or lemon extract, and swap the chocolate chips for slivered almonds—nom)
2½ cups all-purpose flour
1½ tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
12 oz. package chocolate chips (optional, really, but delicious—also try cranberries, blueberries, raisins, nuts, etc.)

1. Move the rack to the low position and preheat your oven to 350°. Grease the bottoms of 2 loaf pans.

2. In a large mixing bowl, mix the sugar and butter until smooth. I do it with a fork, but you could use an electric beater, too. If you're a wuss.

3. Add the peeled bananas, eggs, milk, and vanilla, and mix thoroughly.

4. Stir in the flour, salt, baking soda, and chocolate chips (not too thoroughly).

5. Split the batter between the 2 loaf pans and bake for 50 minutes, or until a toothpick or kebab skewer (or the tip of a sharp steak knife, if you, like me, don't own toothpicks or kebab skewers) stuck in the center comes out clean.

6. Let cool 5 minutes. Run a butter knife along the sides of the pans, to loosen the loaves. Gently turn out the loaves and let them cool under a clean cloth for 30 minutes, then store any extra bread you don't gorge yourself on in an air-tight container or plastic bag.

My Parts Asplode!!

David Gandy + a heavy bag + drawstring pants + a bunch of broody English dudes in hoodies = me, having an orgasm in my eyeballs.

Thrusty Thursday: Bruce McCulloch

There was like an eight-way earworm battle on Twitter yesterday that got first "The Daves I Know" and then "Terriers" in my head, but also reminded me why Bruce was always my favorite Kid in the Hall. So let's get thrusty, the 1990s, Canadian, Brucio way!

Recipe: Potatoes au Gratin

Not difficult, but messy and fairly time consuming. Also, supremely un-nutritious, as comfort food should be. Prep time 20 minutes, baking time 1 hour 5 minutes. Serves 4–6 as a side dish.

You'll need:
Unpeeled potatoes—20 new potatoes, or 4 big ones, or 6 medium, something like that
½ stick butter OR, ¼ stick butter plus the fat from frying 5 bacon rashers
1 small onion
1 tbsp. white flour
1¾ cups whole milk
2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 tsp. salt
½ tsp. garlic salt
½ tsp. paprika
1 tsp. red pepper flakes
1 tsp. ground black pepper
½ cup breadcrumbs or crushed up crackers
few shakes Parmesan cheese

1. Preheat the oven to 350°.

2. Slice the scrubbed, unpeeled potatoes into 1/8-inch slices and toss them in a large casserole dish.

3. Melt the butter—or, fry the optional bacon, remove the rashers once crispy and save for later, and then add half the butter. Finely chop the onion then cook it in the fat on medium heat until soft.

4. Add the flour, milk, 1½ cups of the shredded cheddar, salt, garlic salt, paprika, pepper flakes and pepper. Bring to a boil and keep boiling, stirring occasionally, for 1 minute.

5. Pour buttery-milky-cheesy sin mixture over the potatoes. Crumble bacon onto it all, if you bothered with the bacon. Turn well, and arrange the potatoes evenly in the dish.

6. Bake uncovered for 50 minutes, or until the edges are browning and the potatoes are soft when speared with a fork.

7. Mix together the remaining cheddar, the breadcrumbs, and the Parmesan, then sprinkle the mixture over the top of the casserole. Return to oven and bake uncovered for another ten minutes, until the top is nicely browned and crispy.

8. Let cool for 10 minutes, and serve.

Six Sentence Sunday #8

Greetings again, intrepid sixers! One final excerpt from my evil twin Cara's brand new release, Curio. Oh yes, the Parisian man-whore book is finally out, and available through Kindle, Nook, and direct from Ellora's Cave, if you're intrigued. Or go see what readers have to say about it on Goodreads. Right. Requisite promo done. Now, on to the good stuff…

As I took my final breath, knuckles poised to knock, the door swung in.

Didier was taller than I’d anticipated. He was more of everything than I’d anticipated. Which is saying a lot, because I’d purposefully built him up in my mind, so grand he could only fail to measure up and hence give me permission to do as I always do and declare myself above the bothersome magnetism of lust.

But Didier did not disappoint. My mouth went dry and I must have looked stoned, standing there with the blank expression I rely on when desperately trying to appear unaffected.

Thanks for stopping by! Now head here to check out all the other Six Sentence Sunday excerpts this week.

A Very Special, Very Half-Assed Thrusty Thursday

I'm too busy writing to work hard this week. Here—stare at Jude Law's slightly sinister breed of hotness. Never get a face-lift, you beautiful weary-eyed bastard. Can you do a filthy Scottish accent and dye your hair black and chain smoke? If so, you're welcome to the role of Ian Kilpatrick when the film rights for Skin Game are inevitably optioned [cough cough, author delusion].

A Tardy Start to October

Hey, it's October! That means I can watch TV again… Check. I watched some in my hotel room while my evil twin was attending a smut writers' conference last week, actually, before September was even officially over. So sue me. No wait, don't.

Anyhow, now that I'm back and no longer suffering from food poisoning (possibly from the scrambled eggs I so gloatingly overloaded on at the hotel's breakfast buffet) it's time to get with the program for October. Or rather, Ommmctober, the month during which I practice yoga every day, for a minimum of thirty minutes. I could actually desperately use it, right about now. At the best of times I'm an intermediate yoga student, flexible if not especially strong…my lifts are woeful, but I can do an enviable upward bow. Right about now, I'm at least three weeks overdue for even a basic stretching session. Probably no coincidence I've been a bit of a basket case the last month or so.

Here's my little lamp-lit yoga space, in my office:

Check the hourglass, which is actually a half-hourglass (thanks, Mom) perfect for making sure I get my thirty minutes minimum in. And that's it, really. I'm off to punish my hamstrings and attain bliss.