…I does not have it.
This is more a rant than a blog post, so bear with me, or go elsewhere until I return tomorrow with a regularly scheduled angst-free installment of Thrusty Thursday.
I think there's such a thing as a healthy brain-body balance. I mean those days or even weeks when your body and mind are both feeling settled and performing capably. I think more often than not, I have this balance, or something approaching it. But this week…and indeed last week… Dear God, I don't. Not even close.
I don't know what's up with me. My brain is burned out, largely from being stuck on a romance proposal that I just cannot seem to tailor to get my editor on board. I want to be successful, so I'm thinking of ways to fix it, non-stop. It's exhausting, and naturally the franticness isn't actually helping to generate anything new and fresh. After today I'm just taking a break and switching to edits and admin until next week, lest I give myself a nervous breakdown.
Body-wise, I would hope that if my brain's doing crappily, my body's at least in decent working order. It's so not. I've been jittery and irritable, and sleeping terribly (which is not like me). I'm also blessed a sort of low-level but chronic stomach issue, which gets set off by stress. It leads to abdominal and back pain. Oh joy! Jittery, under-rested, and achy all over.
On the other hand, now that it's getting to be too cold to run outside, I joined my local gym. And I love it! My body may not be feeling stellar, but I'll give it credit for performing. I've been using the elliptical machine and treadmill and today I took my first Pilates class in several years (man, there are some muscles in my core I haven't dusted off in ages) and my body's largely cooperating. And I do think all the exercise refreshes the brain a bit…though I've still yet to wow my editor.
Like a bad mood or a shitty weather pattern, I'll just have to wait this out, I suppose. Though I hope it moves on soon—us writers get mental constipation when our creativity stays blocked for too long.