That was the title of the original article my Kiwi pen pal e-mailed me from the NZ Herald. He's a journalist (though he didn't cover this breaking news, sadly) and he sends me every duck-related story that hits the New Zealand press. And you would be truly shocked how often ducks make the Kiwi news. The ducks from this, the most hilarious / tragic / delightful / horrifying thing I've seen all month, were actually in Canada, but they still made the news two hemipheres away. Watch it. You'll laugh. You'll gasp. You'll awwww and oh noooo! and exprience every human emotion in the span of forty-five seconds. And don't worry—it ends well.