Thrusty Thursday: Jamie Dornan

I was remarking (read: whining) the other day about how I've gotten to a certain age (thirty-one) where younger actors simply don't do it for me anymore. My new cut-off for certifiable foxiness has risen sharply, and I pretty much only trust guys in their mid-thirties or older to be able to cultivate proper facial hair or know their way around a lady's complex folds (of both the brain and nether varieties). Actually…I find the attractiveness of any man born after the seventies suspect. This new crop of supposedly hot celebrity dudes are too dag pretty, and I don't think it's just me being a curmudgeon. I think pretty is simply in right now for men. I'm calling it the Pattinson Effect.

But that's just me prematurely sniffing and buttoning my judgmental cardigan up to the neck, because of course I stumbled upon an exception. At not-quite-twenty-nine, Northern Ireland native model and actor Jamie Dornan is already some seasoned-looking kind of sexy. He's got cheekbones you could slice cheese with, but he's still a bit rough around the edges. He's pretty, but not feminine. I bet he's given a woman an orgasm. I wish Calvin Klein had let him keep the chest hair you see peeking in that lower right photo, though. Petulant sigh. Oh but speaking of Calvin Klein, if you're pervy and want to see Dornan in his undies, away to Google with you.

Random fact: Dornan dated Keira Knightley for a time but they ultimately broke up, choosing cruelly to deny the world what surely would have been the Most Attractive Child Ever Conceived.