Thursday, August 19, 2010

Thrusty Thursday: James May vs. Richard Hammond

It's Thrusty Thursday number two, and fittingly there are two candidates this week. I've been torn on this issue for a while now…

Who is the foxiest Top Gear presenter?

It's not Jeremy Clarkson, though he is tall and has the most manful voice. Jeremy's clearly the Top Gear alpha male—the silverback. Er, silver-fro. But when it comes to overall dreaminess it's definitely James May and Richard Hammond battling it out…but how to pick?

Let's examine them in turn. If you're a Top Gear fan, you'll know that Richard (left) leads in the style and hip-ness race, and though he's short, he's clearly the fittest of the three. Hammo also has that certain indefinable, Davy Jones-esque boyish charm thing going on, plus I'm a sucker for dark eyes.

James (right), on the other hand, is taller, a more adventurous dresser, and perhaps most importantly, he's a dork. You'd have to be, to earn nicknames like Captain Slow and Captain Maths. He's also the sort of man you just want to pat on the head… He's also single. Though one naturally wonders if there might not be a reason for that…

Perhaps this debate demands more evidence. Video evidence! Here's the conclusion of Top Gear's speedboat vs. classic Ferrari race along the Riviera:

Well dammit, I can't choose. Until scientists manage to meld them together into one über dreamboat (or a horribly disfigured mutant), I'll just have to continue to split my thrusty love between them both.

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