Thursday, March 10, 2011

Thrusty Thursday: Jason Statham

I have been in the dark on this one! I haven't seen Jason Statham in a film since around 2003, which is when I watched both Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch in a single weekend. And even then I didn't really register who he was.

Then the other week I was working on a blog post for my erotica-writing alter ego, celebrating a new sale in my favorite, narcissistic author way—playing Fantasy Casting Couch. It's the shameless outside-of-your-head version of a game many authors and readers play, which consists of casting the books we write and read with familiar (usually celebrity) faces. For me, it makes animating the movie that plays in my head while I write easier. The celebrities usually fade away once I get to know my characters inside-out, but I love hearing what familiar faces other authors picked to envision their heroes and heroines, to see if their vision was anything like mine. It usually isn't. I also love hearing who readers cast as my own characters. Matt Damon as Flynn? Really?

Anyway, I was Googling "action movie star" in a frantic attempt to cast one of the book's male leads, and wouldn't you know it, Jason Statham popped right up! I knew his name from panting tweets bandied about by my contemporaries, but I didn't really know what he looked like. Lo and behold, he is three kinds of nonstandard sextasticalz—balding, hairy-chested, and over forty. I have no issue with any of those things, and bundle them all together and slap a British accent and a six-pack on that shit…for swoon! And he used to be a commercial diver? And he was in a movie set in a prison?! Where have you been all my life? The anti-hero I was attempting to cast (who, serendipitously enough, is a commercial diver) isn't balding or British, but Statham's face alone, with that charmingly, gruffly smug expression, was enough for me to shout, "You're hired! Here's your trailer. Would you like a relaxing massage? Go ahead, take off your shirt."

While doing the half-assed research I always dedicate to this feature, I noticed he's in a movie with Jet Li, called War. I'm hoping this means it involves a modicum of Kung Fu, as I plan to watch it tonight while drinking too much wine then run an overdue Friday Night Fu Review for it tomorrow. For now, I will leave you with this, a quick clip I picked simply because when I see the word "training" my brain goes blank. Enjoy:

6 comments:

  1. You forgot one.....balding, hairy-chested, over forty, sexy accent, 6-pack and nice facial scruff! Swoon-a-licious!

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  2. I would never be so presumptuous as to claim a man meets Penny's minimum standards for facial scruffiness without consulting you first! So glad he's earned your official seal of approval.

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  3. Fab lucky best post! I approve. Both of Jason Stratham's 6% body fat and of the casting process. I call it "central casting" and, of course, mine features both genders, but same deal. Matt Damon as Flynn? For me, not so much, but you know what, lemme just play that out in my head a little bit, and...guh...

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  4. Matt Damon is NOT Flynn in my head. Not that I don't like Matt Damon. He's just nowhere near feral or huge or bruised enough to play Flynn. Too civilized. Mark Wahlberg did a nice job playing him in the movie version ("The Fighter: Cara McKenna's Willing Victim, now a major motion picture…minus all the shady bedroom role-playing") but I actually never had a celeb in mind when I wrote him.

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  5. Oh goodness - agreed!!
    Luff him.

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