Thrusty Thursday: Ray Allen

It's been a great start to the new year for my boyfriend Ray Allen. (Never mind that he and I are both married, and not to each other. He's my boyfriend.) The Celtics are giving their fans plenty of heart attacks en route to squeaking out wins at the buzzer this week, and I had the pleasure of watching the pulse-pounding Monday night game against Minnesota live at the Garden. My boyfriend Ray, in his patented, understated fashion, kicked ass.

How many of you can buy an unlicensed 

tee-shirt in the subway that proclaims your 

love for your boyfriend? That's what I thought.

For a highly successful basketball player, my boyfriend Ray is remarkably swagger-free. For an NBA Champion and nine-time All-Star, he seems very humble. You can see why he won the Sportsmanship award in 2003, just watching him play. He looks like a guy just doing his job, and having a good time doing it. Plus he'd have to be an extra-awesometasticals athlete to make it into my harem as a non-martial-artist.

Even Denzel can't keep his mitts off my boyfriend!

Here are some vital stats and trivia about my boyfriend Ray Allen: he's six-foot-five, 205 pounds, and a very seasoned thirty-five (he's been playing pro for fifteen years, which is forever in basketball years). He has one of the most accurate three-point and free-throw shooting records in the history of the NBA. Blam! He was in the 1998 Spike Lee movie, He Got Game, with Denzel Washington. He also allegedly has a borderline case of obsessive-compulsive disorder, but he credits this with his enviable shooting prowess. He cannot sing on key.

Ready to see my boyfriend in action? Here you go! And as gushy as this montage is, I didn't compile it. Credit to Youtuber iverson1legend.